Somehow I've gotten into a rhythm of staying up late into the night talking on the phone and then waking up early the next day to do farming. Somehow it is actually possible.
I had a beautiful realization today while pulling parsnips from the ground. I realized that they are alive. It is a weird thing, to know that the world around you is actually alive. I was looking at this parsnip I had just pulled and thought 'is it still alive now that I've uprooted it?' and then 'Where does it's life end?' A couple of weeks ago, on one of our first days in the garden, Titia and I were talking about working soil and how you have to be careful with it because it is alive. I could not wrap my head around it and told her so and she said "so if I understand you right, up to now you have been thinking of the world as a series of objects. Now maybe you can start thinking about it as a network of living things". With a new appreciation for the living nature of the world, I'm thinking, holy smokes! I've been objectifying everything. Everything I relate to is objectified to a certain extent. It's that old story where we name something, we label it and file it away and never think about it again. And we think we know what it is. I had objectified my life to the point where nothing was real anymore. In fact I think I probably even objectified myself. I am rejoicing in this great change from a static world of objects to a dynamic living organism and dedicating myself to recognizing the dynamic living quality of the world around me. Boy is it ever beautiful.
I hear you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, the soil seems so alive, especially on a warm summer's night, it's frightening. I don't understand my fear except that it is some fear of The Other, More Powerful Thing I Can't Control. The best version of this, perhaps, is Awe.